Friday Vocabulary

1. repine — to show discontent, to complain

The whole weary day he repines and sighs at the utter unfairness of it all, making each day wearier and drearier still.

 

2. operculum — (zoology) gill cover of a fish

Besides the three bands of color (yellow head, black body, yellow tail) which give the rock beauty its Latin name, Holacanthus tricolor, small stripes of red are often seen alongside the opercula.

 

3. kirtle — long women’s garment worn from medieval times to the Baroque Era over smock or chemise

The barwoman’s scarlet kirtle matched her ruddy cheeks, and distracted from the dirty linen smock she wore beneath.

 

4. catamount — leopard, ocelot, lynx, or panther; (U.S.) puma or cougar

Having been abducted as a small boy, he is as wild as the bear, the wolf, and the catamount, and I doubt me that any amount of effort will bring him back whole to civilization.

 

5. hyperesthesia — excessive sensitivity of nerves, as to pain, etc.; algesia

Many felt that the Rhine experiments proved no such thing as extrasensory perception, but rather a seemingly benign hyperesthesia on the part of the subjects, produced by factors which could only be guessed at.

 

6. gink — (slang) fellow, person

Every time we trot out the pinhead some gink has to claim that it’s a fake chicken, or something stupid like that.

 

7. blirt — to burst into tears

It made my heart near to burst, to see her blirt so upon the woeful, awful news.

 

8. ecdysiast — stripper, striptease performer

If she plays the ecdysiast solely in the privacy of her home and only for physical exercise, does she really need to call it a stripper pole?

 

9. chthonic — of creatures, deities, beings, or other things dwelling in the earth

He sought an ancient and matchless power, known only to the most primitive chthonic beings that resided deep within the bowels of rock and magma, the power to move through matter itself.

 

10. etiolate — to blanch (a plant) by keeping light from it; to induce a pale, sickly hue in (a person or a person’s skin)

Playing video games for twelve, sixteen hours a day had etiolated his face and hands, and his legs seemed almost leprous.

Friday Vocabulary

1. chancel — area around altar reserved for use of officiating clergy, usu. the eastern part of the church

The choir rose from their seats in the chancel and sang the introit, and we could not help but notice how the mysterious plague had depleted their pious voices.

 

2. Monothelite — believer in heretical doctrine that Christ has only a single divine will

Pope Honorius I was anathematized by the Third Council of Constantinople for promoting the Monothelites, or at least for having not condemned them out of hand.

 

3. tinkler (usu. tinker) — (Scot.) itinerant metal worker, usu. a gypsy

Naturally everyone suspected the tinkler who had been seen roaming the vicinage, but his biggest crime was repairing pewter with lead.

 

4. mischieve — to harm, to inflict loss; to ruin

The obvious conflict between their supposed high morals and their base actions will serve only to mischieve others who might have followed the true faith.

 

5. overthwart — crosswise, transversely

The grim wizard upon his haggard mount rode overthwart between the opposing armies, haranguing them endlessly with the most vile names and imprecations.

 

6. bombazeen (var. of bombasine) — twill fabric of worsted and (often) silk or cotton, used as mourning garb when dyed black

She stood in mournful silence, her bombazeen dress trimmed in crape, her hair and face covered by a black veil.

 

7. morgengab — portion of deceased man’s estate allotted to widow for her use as a direct bequest

Some Bible commentators believe that the gifts described in Genesis 25:6 that Abraham gave to his concubines’ children functioned as a sort of morgengab, a stated gift that foreclosed all interest those men would have to the bulk of the patriarch’s estate, which descended upon Isaac.

 

8. cleek — to seize with the hand, to clutch strongly or suddenly; to snatch

He acts as if he claught his spouse’s very soul when he took her to wife.

 

9. shenship — disgrace, ruin

Through the wiles of the evil one he fell into such shame and shenship that no more in this place may his name be spoken.

 

10. superpurgation — excessive purgation, vomiting, or evacuation of the bowels

The quack prescribed a medicament compounded from that very fruit as physic for my dear cousin, and her resulting superpurgation left her so weak as to approach nigh unto the very gates of death.

Monday Book Report: Jane Eyre

Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre is a 170 year-old romance novel in which the protagonists are beautiful only on the inside, their outward unattractiveness being dunned into the reader’s poor brain at every opportunity. I have read only one other author’s romance novels heretofore — by accident (thinking they were mysteries) — and though I should like to not read another, I suppose I will have to read at least one more, let’s call it two more, in order to be fair to Charlotte’s sisters. (I do not include Jane Austen, who is sui generis, a polestar around whom lesser authors revolve.) After finishing my slog through the moors and woods in which Jane Eyre traipses, strolls, and reclines, I find that Miss Eyre is the strongest, most intelligent dunderhead I have ever read of.

I was a human being, and had a human being’s wants: I must not linger where there was nothing to supply them. I rose; I looked back at the bed I had left. Hopeless of the future, I wished but this–that my Maker had that night thought good to require my soul of me while I slept; and that this weary frame, absolved by death from further conflict with fate, had now but to decay quietly, and mingle in peace with the soil of this wilderness. Life, however, was yet in my possession: with all its requirements, and pains, and responsibilities. The burden must be carried; the want provided for; the suffering endured; the responsibility fulfilled. I set out.

Life … finds a way

The plot is easily told — the movies are probably better than the novel. The first five chapters exactly replicate (or is it the other way round?) the opening episodes of the initial Harry Potter book. Orphan lives with aunt’s family, which family is abusive and hateful towards our eponymous protagonist, who eventually escapes to a magical school and realizes an inner power beyond all expectations. Oh, wait. That’s the other book. This is the one with a crazy wife, in case you can’t remember which is which. [Spoiler Alert: … oops.]

Those of my (two) readers unable to get past Nathaniel Hawthorne’s opening frame story to get to the meat of The Scarlet Letter will likely not make it past Jane’s stay at the school of magic. I recommend the former. In Miss Eyre’s case, she stays at school becoming a teacher, leaves to become a governess at Thornfield Hall, suddenly must leave that place due to the crisis of the novel, is homeless for three days, then she isn’t, becoming a teacher again, and rich, receives an overly decent marriage proposal, has a vision — or whatever the word for an auditory vision might be — and then she goes off and, just like Odysseus, meets a dog that recognizes her (though, unlike the dog in The Odyssey, that in Jane Eyre doesn’t die [Spoiler Alert: … oops.]).

I fall into a sort of dream. Sometimes I think I am in Northumberland, and that the noises I hear round me are the bubbling of a little brook which runs through Deepden, near our house;–then, when it comes my turn to reply, I have to be awakened; and, having heard nothing of what was read for listening to the visionary brook, I have no answer ready.

Poor Helen Burns has auditory visions

Anyway….

Even the writer of the afterword in my edition admits the problematic aspects of Charlotte Brontë’s novel. I had no quibble with the improbable aspects of the plot (which my summary here elides), but the language …. Hmm.

Here is Helen Burns, a fellow inmate of the school of magic — sorry, the school for orphans — to which Jane has been sent at ten years of age, speaking of forbearance towards a harsh teacher (Helen is a ‘few years’ older than Jane).

What a singularly deep impression her injustice seems to have made on your heart! No ill-usage so brands its record on my feelings. Would you not be happier if you tried to forget her severity, together with the passionate emotions it excited? Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs. We are, and must be, one and all, burdened with faults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will remain,–the impalpable principle of life and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature: whence it came it will return; perhaps again to be communicated to some being higher than man–perhaps to pass through gradations of glory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph! Surely it will never, on the contrary, be suffered to degenerate from man to fiend? No; I cannot believe that: I hold another creed; which no one ever taught me, and which I seldom mention; but in which I delight, and to which I cling: for it extends hope to all: it makes Eternity a rest–a mighty home, not a terror and an abyss. Besides, with this creed, I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last: with this creed revenge never worries my heart, degradation never too deeply disgusts me, injustice never crushes me too low: I live in calm, looking to the end.

Helen Burns makes a singularly deep impression

I suppose I could or should give other examples, but instead I will tell you a secret. Everybody talks like this in the novel. And, since the book is a first-person narrative voiced by our Miss Eyre,* I must warn you that she, too, talks just like this. Sigh.

But … whatever. Some people (Philistines!) find the language of the incomparable Jane Austen off-putting. And a score of years has passed since the sesquicentennial of Jane Eyre’s first publication, and, one assumes, some changes to language are to be expected. So what other faults make the novel unattractive? Well, the obsession with unattractiveness, for one.

She had taken an amiable caprice to me. She said I was like Mr. Rivers (only, certainly, she allowed, “not one-tenth so handsome, though I was a nice neat little soul enough, but he was an angel”). I was, however, good, clever, composed, and firm, like him.

Rosamond Oliver finds not even a tithe of beauty in Jane Eyre

I once had a co-worker who had a fine, prominent, aquiline nose. It was a thing of beauty forever, an ice-breaking prow of distinction which gave him a distinguished profile and a confident mien. Yet, alas! One day at work I was staring blankly in no particular direction — truth be told, dear reader, I was likely under the enervating effects of the devil’s cabbage, stood torpid and stupid in consequence of consumption of marihuana, my dull visage a vapid reflection of the benighted and turbid thoughts within — in short, I was stoned. As it happened, I suppose, my gaze must have been turned in the direction of the aforementioned workaday compatriot, for suddenly he startled me out of my listless loser’s reverie with the sharp announcement that “He knew! He knew what I was staring at! I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of his nose!” and with this angry and hurt pronouncement he stormed away from the sales counter and took himself away to assuage his wounded pride and regain his equable state of mind.

That day I learned an important lesson, one which I have forgotten many times since, but which occurs to me today — when it can do me no real good, as all such teaching seems to return — a lesson best noted by the immortal Robbie Burns, but which I might state thusly: people are really torqued by their own hyenas. For I had not been staring at my friend’s nose, had not even been looking at my friend, though I do not doubt my eyes were turned in that direction. I was probably thinking only of corn chips, cupcakes, and other such delights as occur to the habitué of the hookah, yet my friend of the fine figure was convinced I thought only of his nose, because he thought only of his nose. Thus a teener with a small dehiscing spot of acne believes that the entire world’s focus is upon his popped zit. Thus does a woman who hates her hair — curly or straight — believe that tout le monde sees the lustrous integuments of her head as a blot upon good taste, a foul stain against nature, and believes that all who see her are displeased and wish (as she does) that her hair were straight or curly, as the case may be.

This sort of nonsense (to which we are all susceptible, if I be honest, to greater or lesser degree) is baked into Charlotte Brontë’s novel just as an estivating insipidity was (ahem) baked into me on that long ago day manning the cash register with my friend of the Roman nose. For Ms. Brontë, or Miss Eyre at the least, cannot pass over any notice of the novel’s heroine without remarking that Jane Eyre is plain, unhandsome, unendowed with any features of beauty whatsoever. Without getting into the question of whether the eponymous protagonist engendered the term ‘plain Jane’,† we note that at every turn where her features are noticed, remarked upon, or even present in the stream-of-oh-so-consciousness narrative she spills out, Jane’s plainness is the prime axis around which the narration revolves. In this she (author or narrator, take your pick) shows the apophenia of one who has convinced herself that she is not and cannot ever be beautiful — not to say ugly — and now can think of nothing else. This rather sad idée fixe pervades the novel like fat through steak, though the reader must chew through this and much other gristle before reaching the end of Miss Eyre’s tale.

“Unjust!–unjust!” said my reason, forced by the agonizing stimulus into precocious though transitory power; and Resolve, equally wrought up, instigated some strange expedient to achieve escape from insupportable oppression–as running away, or, if that could not be effected, never eating or drinking more, and letting myself die.

Jane Eyre resolves to bravely run away

Thus after she first meets St. John Rivers and his sisters, and lies abed after the horrific episode which brings her hungry and faint to their house, she hears the young parson’s judgment that, though her physiognomy is not indicative of a lower nature, she is “not at all handsome”, that “Ill or well, she would always be plain. The grace and harmony of beauty are quite wanting in those features.” Without endlessly multiplying examples, I can aver that this opinion is held by every character in the novel who deigns to note Miss Eyre’s lineaments. Further, though we will eventually be dragged to the noble if insipid conclusion that ‘true beauty lies within’ over the course of this novel’s thirty-eight chapters and (in my edition) 448 pages, it is the outward signs to which Jane Eyre’s eyes always turn, as in the opening pages where she limns her cousin as “large and stout for his age, with a dingy and unwholesome skin; thick lineaments in a spacious visage, heavy limbs and large extremities.” Indeed, the climax of the novel compares a weak vision with “tempered judgment with mercy.” Mercy indeed.

But of course one can forgive this superficial view of the world. Especially when it is flooded by the never-ending turbid stream of thought, counterthought, and repetition of the original thought that threaten to drown this book in a sort of Bizarro-world dialectic. Outward appearances matter, despite all the lip service that Jane Eyre can muster for the opposing view. Class distinctions matter, as well. Jane is threatened with poverty, and dreams up a bizarre vision of ‘honest poverty’ which almost mirrors La Rochefoucauld’s own impoverished idea of the happiness of the poor.‡ Mr. St. John Rivers will take the noble word of the Christian God to the Hindustanee, and remain uncorrupted by the untouchables he will find there. 

I reflected. Poverty looks grim to grown people; still more so to children: they have not much idea of industrious, working, respectable poverty; they think of the word only as connected with ragged clothes, scanty food, fireless grates, rude manners, and debasing vices: poverty for me was synonymous with the degradation.
“No; I should not like to belong to poor people,” was my reply.
“Not even if they were kind to you?”
I shook my head: I could not see how poor people had the means of being kind; and then to learn to speak like them, to adopt their manners, to be uneducated, to grow up like one of the poor women I saw sometimes nursing their children or washing their clothes at the cottage doors of the village of Gateshead: no, I was not heroic enough to purchase liberty at the price of caste.

Young Jane Eyre determines never to be poor, to always be rich in semi-colons at least

Jane, for her own part, after throwing herself upon the mercy of complete strangers when driven almost mad with hunger (she had had only a bit of bread — oh, and some pig’s porridge — for the three or five days previous, see below), who give her a bed and bring her back to health over the course of several days, uses her first moments of restored well-being to upbraid the servant of the loving family who fed her, sheltered her, and even had her filthy clothes and shoes cleaned (by the same servant, natch). Rather than expressing thanks to the servant Hannah, Jane lays into her for her uncharitable, un-Christian attitude — for Hannah had advised the Rivers siblings to turn away the ragamuffin that came dying to their door. Hannah, is, of course, suitably chastened, recognizing her better in the proud denial of Miss Eyre to be a beggar, though that is exactly what Jane is and was. After berating the woman who cleaned her clothes, Jane announces, “That will do — I forgive you now. Shake hands.” And they do, “and from that moment we were friends.” And so ends the fateful flight of Miss Eyre from the insupportable situation she left behind.

This episode — the rash departure of Jane Eyre from Thornfield to end up practically dying on the doorstep of Moor House — this crucial episode also forms the crux of my problem with this ponderous and learned novel. I can forgive the high-falutin’ language as a voice from the past — a voice, I must confess, much more intelligent and erudite than my own. And I can forgive the mania over our heroine’s unhandsome looks. I can even forgive the snide way the poor and classless are looked down upon, which snideness is appalling to our protagonist when she receives the same from Hannah or Lady Ingram, but which Jane and her entire milieu demonstrate is entirely appropriate by every action, thought, and word. (Tsk, tsk, Jane.) All these things and more can be forgiven; the novel is beautifully written, the thoughts of the heroine are often noble aspirations to those higher things which, one hopes, eventually may raise us somewhat above the level of the apes (though one has one’s doubts). But —

It was a groveling fashion of existence: I should never like to return to it. Hiring a mistress is the next worse thing to buying a slave: both are often by nature, and always by position, inferior: and to live familiarly with inferiors is degrading.

Edward Rochester identifies the worst thing about slavery

You see, my problem is this. Jane Eyre leaves Thornfield Hall with twenty shillings and a penny, plus “some linen, a locket, and a ring” which she manages to forget in the coach that takes her away, and which loss leaves her “destitute”. Here’s the thing: Jane Eyre hails this coach and asks its destination, then asks to be taken there; upon being told that the cost would be thirty shillings, she then offers her entire fortune for the ride. I mean, … sure, she has no practice at being poor, but she has proven herself, and will prove again to be, quite a capable woman. Why does she not ask how far she can go for ten shillings? Or even for nineteen, which would have left her with twelve pennies (or thirteen, if we include the one penny she will mysteriously discover later). She will try to barter a handkerchief for food — not having the locket and ring which, I suppose, she had planned on using to start her new domicile in the distant town of —————. Jane then spends a wonderful night sleeping outside. The next day the pangs of hunger begin to derange her, and the third day leaves her prostrate and near death at the home of the Rivers kin. Sooooo…. Jane Eyre goes for perhaps five days (the coach ride takes two) with no food save for a roll and some bilberries, a begged piece of bread, and a portion of porridge destined for swine. And if she had not received succor at Moor House she would have died. Indeed, it takes several days for her to recover her wits and well-being. She sleeps outside for two nights — the first a delightful romp in her telling — and … she is so near to that bourne from which no traveller returns that it is only the godlike intercession of the Rivers that keeps her on this side of the worldly veil of tears. (Later her encounter chez Rivers will turn out to have been a bit of a deus ex machina, but let that pass.)

I touched the heath: it was dry, and yet warm with the heat of the summer-day. I looked at the sky; it was pure: a kindly star twinkled just above the chasm ridge. The dew fell, but to me benign and good; I thought she loved me, outcast as I was; and I, who from man could anticipate only mistrust, rejection, insult, clung to her with filial fondness. To-night, at least, I would be her guest–as I was her child: my mother would lodge me without money and without price. I had one morsel of bread yet: the remnant of a roll I had bought in a town we passed through at noon with a stray penny–my last coin. I saw ripe bilberries gleaming here and there, like jet beads in the heath: I gathered a handful and ate them with the bread. My hunger, sharp before, was, if not satisfied, appeased by this hermit’s meal. I said my evening prayers at its conclusion and then chose my couch.
Beside the crag, the heath was very deep: when I lay down my feet were buried in it; rising high on each side, it left only a narrow space for the night-air to invade. I folded my shawl double, and spread it over me for a coverlet; a low, mossy swell was my pillow.

Jane sleeps outdoors, as one does

Look, hunger sucks. Poverty sucks. Sleeping outside sucks when one does it from lack of choice. But … leaving to one side the complete lack of knowledge shown of actual poverty and hunger and living bereft of all comfort, I still have to ask: Why didn’t she save a single damn shilling? If she can negotiate a price of two-thirds the going rate, why not try for 60%? Heck, try for 50%. Was she so hopeful that her lost locket and ring would fetch her enough to keep her in bed and board for weeks to come that she felt she could afford to rid herself of her entire supply of actual cash? Sigh.

Anyway….

And yet….

Who am I to gainsay the ‘plain Jane’ readers of romance their delight? Their fantasy? If lying sailors can have their wish fulfillment of a faithful wife back home while they are out catting around, as Kenneth Rexroth reimagined Homer’s tale of Odysseus, why then should not ‘unhandsome’ women with no prospects be given what they want in fictional form? Of course, since Charlotte Brontë is writing in the mid-19th Century, and since this is the naissance of romance, the climax of the genre is marriage and a kid, as opposed to modern romance, where the climax is (one presumes) an actual climax.

Not that sex is ignored in Jane Eyre; it just occurs offstage. Rochester (did you think I would forget him entirely?) has a dalliance with a French opera dancer who gifts him with another man’s child. Children are born through apparent acts of God (though I am assured that this happened only that one time), and both women and men feel themselves subject to urges that are never plainly spoken of.

Speaking of unspoken urges, for some time I suspected that St. John Rivers was gay. I can still entertain that suspicion if I read passages like the following:

It is hard work to control the workings of inclination, and turn the bent of nature: but that it may be done, I know from experience. God has given us, in a measure, the power to make our own fate; and when our energies seem to demand a sustenance they cannot get–when our will strains after a path we may not follow–we need neither starve from inanition, nor stand still in despair: we have but to seek another nourishment for the mind, as strong as the forbidden food it longed to taste–and perhaps surer; and to hew out for the adventurous foot a road as direct and broad as the one Fortune has blocked up against us, if rougher than it.

St. John Rivers turns bent, and likes it rough

Setting aside this factitious musing to take up another, the relation between Jane and St. John seems quite sadomasochistic to my postmodern eyes. She sees in him “the pure Christian” whose actions towards her are “torture”.

All this was torture to me–refined, lingering torture. It kept up a slow fire of indignation, and a trembling trouble of grief, which harassed and crushed me altogether. I felt how–if I were his wife, this good man, pure as the deep sunless source, could soon kill me: without drawing from my veins a single drop of blood, or receiving on his own crystal conscience the faintest stain of crime. Especially I felt this, when I made any attempt to propitiate him. No ruth met my ruth. He experienced no suffering from estrangement–no yearning after reconciliation; and though, more than once, my fast falling tears blistered the page over which we both bent, they produced no more effect on him than if his heart had been really a matter of stone or metal.

Now Jane and St. John both get bent. Really, Jane, wouldn’t it be easier to be respectably poor?

Thus we can trace a direct line between Jane Eyre’s “pure Christian” and Mr. Christian Grey, and the bright description of the heath, moor, and woods from Charlotte Brontë’s pen wanes into a mere 50 shades of grey.

Nothing speaks or stirs in me while you talk. I am sensible of no light kindling–no life quickening–no voice counseling or cheering. Oh, I wish I could make you see how much my mind is at this moment like a rayless dungeon, with one shrinking fear fettered in its depths–the fear of being persuaded by you to attempt what I cannot accomplish.

Jane is confined within the dungeon

But again, how can I challenge an entire genre which has brought its fictive happiness to so many? How can I cast Miss Eyre and her seminal — oops — her fructuous narrative into the Valley of the Shadow of literary Death? Though I found Jane Eyre annoying and cloying, it is an annoying and cloying work of genius.

* Spoiler Alert: Not her actual name at time of narration.

† She did not.

‡ “Le travail du corps délivre des peines de l’esprit et c’est ce qui rend les pauvres heureux.”

Friday Vocabulary

1. Deo volente — god willing (abbr. D.V.)

We shall be married this very day, and shall assume my curacy, Deo volente, next week.

 

2. sally port — opening in fortification for passage of troops making a sally

Unbeknownst to Lord Dairnlee, however, the location of the sally port had been betrayed, and the whole ground just before that gate had been thoroughly mined.

 

3. dish — (obs. slang) to ‘do for’; to cheat

Disraeli believed that the House of Commons was “used up”, saying further, “Reform has dished it.”

 

4. estivate — to spend the summer; (of animals) to be dormant or in a state of torpor through the summer

We had the happy misfortune both to have several guest rooms and to enjoy a beautiful climate year-round at our beachfront property, with the result that our Arizona relatives seemed always to estivate with us the moment their children finished the school year.

 

5. samite — heavy silk, often interwoven with gold

“That’s no Lady of the Lake,” he said of the white-sleeved arm protruding from the water’s surface, “but rather Ophelia going down for the third time, dragged to the bottom by her sodden samite gown.”

 

6. prebendary — holder of a prebend, stipend for cathedral and church college canons

In spite of the fact that the Reformation eliminated most prebends along with the collegiate churches they served, some elders still hold the title of prebendary, though the reward is usually only a stall reserved to them and unpaid work for the church.

 

7. girandole — ornamented branched candelabra

The light from the beautiful silver girandole on the dining table scintillated through Lady Sylvia’s large emerald brooch.

 

8. alula — small bunch of feathers on the forward wing of a bird, controlled similarly to a ‘thumb’, used at slow flight speeds or when landing

The alulae of falcons is particularly prominent, and is used by those birds of prey to better control their fierce dives when their wings are tucked.

 

9. colloquize — to engage in conversation or dialogue

Though it is truly pleasant to colloquize here beneath the susurrant elms, the hour grows late and I must away.

 

10. swad — thick bunch or mass

We found him in the midst of a veritable swad of soldiers, fighting them all at once, for reasons which remain unclear to this day.

Friday Vocabulary

1. truncheon — broken off piece; fragment of spear or lance

I must have the aid of a leech, for this truncheon causes me more pain that all the other blows I have suffered in this tourney.

 

2. sago — starch made from the pith of the trunks of several palms and cycads, used particularly in preparation of puddings

Your stout-hearted Scotsman prefers the homely pleasures of oatmeal to such modern innovations as sago or tapioca.

 

3. bunting — open worsted fabric used for making flags; thus, a flag or flags

The privateers never dared sail under their own bunting, preferring both the anonymity and potential surprise from their false flags.

 

4. tylectomy — removal of tumor or cyst by surgery, esp. from the breast; lumpectomy

Personally I had little hope that the tylectomy would completely solve the problem, though this may have been prejudice based upon my own painful experiences.

 

5. integument — covering; natural covering of a body, animal, plant; skin, husk, shell

Though once required, the artificial integument of stylish men’s headwear has fallen from favor, with only boring baseball caps seen on the pates of most men.

 

6. lappet — flap or loose fold of garment

The toga for daily use usually included a lappet which the wearer could use as a rude umbrella when it rained.

 

7. sward — surface of earth, usu. covered with herbage; grassy turf

Fans of the Teletubbies were disheartened to learn that the original hilly sward of the Warwickshire farm used as a set for the beloved children’s show was flooded and turned into a pond by the owner who was tired of trespassing fans.

 

8. rutilated — (of minerals) having tiny needle-shaped crystals of titanium dioxide (rutile) embedded within

Prominent upon his desk was a carved obelisk of rutilated quartz, which he had said held especial meaning that he had always promised to tell me one day, but would now never reveal, unless he were to speak to me from beyond the grave.

 

9. Uniate — member of one of the Christian churches in eastern Europe or the Middle East which acknowledges papal supremacy but retains its own liturgy

The Maronites dispute that they were ever monothelites, though obviously this important Uniate church, still one of the most important in Lebanon, firmly eschews that 7th-century heresy today.

 

10. volatile salts — smelling salts

A physician of the Victorian Age would be careful to have volatile salts always at hand, for ladies fainted then at the slightest provocation.

Friday Vocabulary

1. metonymy — rhetorical figure in which a thing or concept is used to refer to a thing with which it is associated or related

Technically speaking, “BMWs are assholes” is metonymy rather than synecdoche, since the drivers are the assholes, and the cars are separate from the drivers.

 

2. fust — to grow moldy or stale-smelling

Shall our hard-won rights fust due to disuse in these dark times?

 

3. nociceptor — pain receptor

Though detection of potentially harmful stimuli by nociceptors creates a signal to the brain, the brain does not necessarily generate a pain response, much as a soccer referee reviews a potential penalty on video before the kick is given.

 

4. hackamore — halter with a bitless bridle, often used for breaking horses

I hiked alone back to that box canyon, carrying only a lariat and hackamore, confident that this time I’d get that chestnut mare.

 

5. revanchist — of or follower of political stance to overturn territorial losses of a state

The strange blend of Cold Warriors and revanchist Cuban exiles in New Orleans engendered the murky world from which Lee Harvey Oswald was to emerge so fatally years later.

 

6. qoph — nineteenth letter of Hebrew alphabet*, also spelled ‘qof’

The word ‘qoph’ only comes up in the context of Scrabble™, where it is a valid word, though the more common spelling ‘qof’ is not.

* Now called an “abjad” by nerdy purists.

 

7. stube — establishment serving drinks, primarily beer, and light food

After skiing it became our habit to stop at the local stube for a lager and the cheese plate, which is where we grew accustomed to find Herr Heinrichs wearing his faded navy turtleneck, propping up his full leg cast on a low stool.

 

8. knap — to chip; to break off

He had the useless ability, shared by other anthropology majors, to knap Folsom Points if you would provide him with flint, which I suppose might be useful after the next world war.

 

9. photosensitivity — condition wherein the skin reacts to sunlight exposure, usu. producing a rash

Certain drugs such as tetracyclines can cause photosensitivity in users who are cautioned to avoid direct sunlight where possible and to cover all skin when outside.

 

10. coxcomb — conceited fool

Certainly, you may object, I should not be bothered and troubled by the inane prattling of such a coxcomb, but I defy you to suffer a fool even half as foppish and stupid.

Friday Vocabulary

1. hebdomadal — weekly

He finally had a regular schedule and they began going out for dinner every Tuesday night, each of them looking forward to their hebdomadal outing.

 

2. piebald — having two-color patches, usu. black and white

His chin had a piebald appearance due to his use of hair dye inappropriate for his coarse beard.

 

3. pergola — open latticework supported by columns upon which climbing plants may be trained, often placed so as to create a walkway

The modern lines of the small house were entirely ruined by the cheap pergola of poor knotty pine that had been slapped together as an afterthought just before the party.

 

4. calenture — tropical fever with delirium that often affected sailors

Jonathan Swift likens those who lost in the South Sea Bubble to sailors misled by a calenture (though the latter term has been supplanted in modern parlance by heat illness, yet another example of how infinitely superior in reason we are nowadays).

 

5. souse — to immerse or plunge something in water, etc.; to drench; to pickle in brine, etc.

“What’s that, Lassie, you soused Timmy into a well?”

 

6. ectogenesis — production or development outside the body

Athena’s birth does not technically qualify as ectogenesis, since springing forth from Zeus’ forehead still uses the god’s body from which the goddess of wisdom enters the world.

 

7. ell — measure of length equal to 45 inches in England (the Scotch = 37.2 in., the Flemish = 27 in.)

Instead of splintering, the knight’s lance was impaled a full ell through the shield of Sir Blois, carrying it out of his hands.

 

8. purvey — to provide or to supply (now usu. food); to make provision for something

What shall it boot thee if you fail to purvey for the fate of your eternal soul?

 

9. bosk — thicket of bushes

The rodent dragged the knapsack into a thorny bosk that thwarted our attempts at entry.

 

10. port — (Archaic) carriage, bearing

Her frank and healthy port was accompanied by a gentle smile which made me love her from the moment I first saw her.

Book List: 4th Century, 1st Quarter

I decided both that the actual lists of books read is my favorite part of this tracking nonsense, and that I cannot wait until an entire new century of books has been read before updating you, my impatient readers. Thus, I herewith present the most recent twenty-five (25) books read, #301 – #325 if you’re keeping score at home. (As usual, I do not include comics and graphic novel books in my count, though they are listed below.)

Book read #301 is the almost-forgettable thriller Dead Watch by John Sandford, about which I’ll say no more, save that I only remembered reading it previously when I had already gotten through 2/3rds of this airport novel.

My fourth century of books started out pretty poorly, overall, and included the so-called “scrapbooking mystery” Bound For Murder, about my disdain for which I’ve written here. The delightful Cold War indoctrination manual for future Apollo scientists, aka Tom Swift on The Phantom Satellite, was probably my favorite of the first five books in this list.

# Read Author Title Genre
301 3/31/19 John Sandford Dead Watch Mystery
302 4/8/19 U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases USAMRIID’s Medical Management of Biological Casualties Handbook Militaria
303 4/11/19 Elmore Leonard Cuba Libre Mystery
304 4/15/19 Laura Childs Bound For Murder Mystery
305 4/16/19 Victor Appleton II Tom Swift on The Phantom Satellite Children’s

 

The Best of Analog anthology from 1979 was my favorite of the next five books (though the children’s books were really quite swell), with the powerful “A Thing Of Beauty” by Norman Spinrad still a nostalgically morose Jeremiad forty years later. Other standout stories by Vonda McIntyre and George R.R. Martin show Ben Bova’s strong editorial vision. I finished this collection and later that same day sped through Margery Allingham’s The Case Of The Late Pig, which was fun, mostly.

# Read Author Title Genre
306 4/20/19 Anne H. White Junket Children’s
307 4/24/19 Joseph L. Baron, ed. Stars and Sand: Jewish Notes by Non-Jewish Notables History
308 4/27/19 Ben Bova, ed. The Best of Analog SF/Fantasy
309 4/27/19 Margery Allingham The Case of the Late Pig Mystery
310 4/28/19 Lilla M. Waltch Mystery of the Inca Cave Children’s

 

The Amar Chitra Katha bumper issue (a 3-in-1 comic book) Adventures of Krishna was the first comic read in this new century of books, and the best through the first quarter. Also of note was The White Flag Principle which I pulled out of humor but returned to the Militaria section after reading its earnest pages. I had thought that a book about why losing wars makes more sense than winning them had to be a joke, but the polemic tone hides a quite reasonable argument from this Israeli dissident.

# Read Author Title Genre
311 4/30/19 Page duBois Torture and Truth History
312 5/1/19 Jerome Beatty, Jr. Matthew Looney’s Voyage to the Earth Children’s
5/3/19 Kamala Chandrakant Adventures of Krishna: Krishna and the False Vaasudeva / Krishna and Shishupala / Krishna and Narakasurua Comics & Graphic Novels
313 5/5/19 Shimon Tzabar The White Flag Principle: How to Lose a War (and Why) Militaria
314 5/8/19 Jerome Beatty, Jr. Matthew Looney’s Invasion of the Earth Children’s
315 5/9/19 Maan Meyers The Dutchman’s Dilemma Mystery

 

I really cannot say enough about Caligula For President, though I tried to say ‘Bravo! Brava!’ to Cintra Wilson’s tour de force before. You can read my meagre words and insufficient praise, if you like, or you could just get the book and enjoy the savage brilliance yourself. I recommend the latter.

The only real reason to read the Matthew Looney series of kids’ books (except perhaps for the first volume) is for Gahan Wilson’s slightly off-kilter illustrations. ‘Nuff said.

 

 

# Read Author Title Genre
316 5/11/19 Cintra Wilson Caligula for President: Better American Living Through Tyranny Other
317 5/21/19 Bruce Pennington Eschatus: Future Prophecies From Nostradamus’ Ancient Writings Wacko
318 5/22/19 Jerome Beatty, Jr. Matthew Looney in the Outback Children’s
319 5/25/19 Russell Chandler Doomsday: The End of the World–A View Through Time End of the World
5/26/19 Toni Patel Akbar – The Great Mughal Comics & Graphic Novels
320 5/27/19 Jerome Beatty, Jr. Matthew Looney and the Space Pirates Children’s
5/28/19 Rajinder Singh Raj & Subba Rao Bhagat Singh: The Story of a Martyr Comics & Graphic Novels

 

The real winners in the quarter-century of books just completed came at the end, though I hesitate to admit just how long I had been slogging through the Harold Jenkins edition of Hamlet. Of course, though the play is a problem (har-har), it was the critical apparatus that slowed me down so. So much, in fact, that I had to take a turn through John Dover Wilson’s simultaneously insightful and outdated What Happens In Hamlet before reading the last half of Shakespeare’s play. That guy was a freaking genius. (Shakespeare, that is.)

# Read Author Title Genre
321 5/29/19 John Dover Wilson What Happens in Hamlet Shakespeare
322 5/31/19 Eric Grzymkowski The United States of Strange/em> Reference
323 6/5/19 John Hollander Rhyme’s Reason: A Guide to English Verse Poetry, Drama & Criticism
324 6/15/19 Cecelia Holland Jerusalem Fiction
325 6/18/19 William Shakespeare; Harold Jenkins, ed. Hamlet (Arden Shakespeare) Shakespeare

 

You’ll have noted that I’ve been hitting the kids’ books lately, and this is because I have recently regained some access to those. I have a few odds and ends on my on-deck circle, and am also trying to purposefully attack that pile which sits next to my bed, and which is slightly lower today than it was yesterday. Until next time….

The lists of previously read books may be found by following the links:

Friday Vocabulary

1. ale-bush — tavern sign

Lost and friendless in the fog’s smother, how pleasant it was to come upon the hanging ale-bush above a dark wooden door.

 

2. surcingle — girth for horse or other animal that passes around belly and over pack, blanket, etc. to keep it in place

What I first had taken for a large tentroll I now saw was a human body beneath a blanket held by a surcingle to the donkey’s back.

 

3. isonomy — equality of persons before the law

No matter if professions of isonomy are mere lip service, the custom must still be followed.

 

4. prosody — the study of poetic meter and versification

A poulter’s measure is now only of interest to students of prosody as no one uses the meter anymore, and no one even writes poetry.

 

5. apophasis — rhetorical figure in which speaker brings up the very subject he or she pretends to deny

“I’m not going to mention the rumors that he likes to rub midgets,” she said in a fine apophasis, “because you can’t believe everything you hear, and I suppose what a man likes to rub is his own business.”

 

6. supernal — of heaven; belonging to higher plane of existence

I thought once that those “Not Of This World” stickers on cars indicated the driver’s supernal inclinations, so you can imagine my disappointment when I discovered they were merely promoting a clothing line.

 

7. percutaneous — through the skin

Recently a sound engineer suffered an accidental percutaneous dosing while cleaning a LSD-encrusted synthesizer made during the heyday of the psychedelic era.

 

8. catachresis — improper use of words

At one time, spoonerisms and malapropisms were clever rhetorical figures in their own right, but now catachresis is merely another symptom of our meaningless universe.

 

9. shrive — to impose penance upon; to hear confession of; to make confession

Fighting alongside a priest means he can shrive me before each battle, which is almost as good as extreme unction.

 

10. boot — to improve; to profit, to avail

It boots thee well to study the word of God daily.

111,000 Songs

Mere days after completing my analysis of the first eleven hundred thousand songs listened to, I’ve just listened to my 111,000th unique iTunes track, the sarcastic and patriotic little ditty, “Mussolini’s Letter To Hitler”, by Carson Robinson.

111,000 unique tracks makes up 715.07 GB of data, with a total duration of 454 days, 12 hours, 49 minutes, and 23 seconds (ignoring multiple plays). Left unplayed in my iTunes collection at the moment of impactful milestone crossing were 80,865 songs, which is 966 less than last report (meaning that a net 34 songs were added since last report). The unplayed tracks comprise 557.67 GB of data (↓ 9.5 GB) with a playing time of 314 days, 13 hours, 54 minutes, and 9 seconds (↓ 12 days).

To reach the 111,000th unique track, I listened to 1,222 songs (from track #110,000), which total 10.95 GB of data, and laid end-to-end comprise 12 days, 17 hours, 59 minutes, and 26 seconds of audio.

It took 58 days to listen to the last thousand songs, meaning 17.2 new songs per day were heard.

17.24 New Tracks Heard per Day

 
If we include the previously heard songs, we find that I heard 21 tracks per day.

21.1 Tracks Heard per Day

 

With this report we recommence data tracking from our newly established baseline, as outlined here and here.