Friday Vocabulary

1. toast-and-water — water in which toast has been soaked, thought to be cooling and refreshing (also seen as toast-water)

I availed myself of some toast-and-water from the pitcher near at hand, attempting to calm my febrile brain and efface the frightening visions.

 

2. glaucous — pale grey-green or greenish-blue

In the crepuscule of the evening the bushes beneath the ground floor windows attained an eerie glaucous hue.

 

3. pretermit — to suspend or abandon (a customary action)

Also at this time, Bob pretermitted the weekly poker game, as required by the conditions of his parole.

 

4. purfling — a decorated border, such as an inlaid border around the back of a violin

The purfling of Satan’s fiddle was tricked out in gold and ruby highlights.

 

5. tripudiate — to dance in joy, triumph, or contempt

No, Snoopy, there is no reason to tripudiate upon your dog house, for the Red Baron is merely wounded.

 

6. sempiternal — eternal

And so another battle in the sempiternal war of the sexes came to its desultory end, resolving nothing.

 

7. alinea — another name for the pilcrow, a typographical mark used to designate a paragraph (“¶”)

Within each section the separate paragraphs began with an alinea followed by the number for that sub-topic.

 

8. actinic — of or relating to radiation causing chemical or biological effects; of light which causes exposure of monochrome film

The amber lantern provided non-actinic light by which to develop the incriminating images.

 

9. achalasia — inability of a circular muscle, esp. of the esophagus or rectum, to relax, causing the structure above the muscular constriction to widen

His refusal to credit logic and science led to a peculiar psychic achalasia, leaving his mind filled only with trifles, superstitions, and discreditable ideas.

 

10. sciolism — superficial knowledge

His petty sciolism, derived from Pinterest posts and Wikipedia articles, provided him with no insight into actual construction of a working Murphy bed.

Ninety-Four Thousand

Just listened to my 94,000th unique iTunes track (with replays of the same item not counting towards that total), the George M. Cohan smash hit from 1911, “That Haunting Melody”, sung by the inimitable Al Jolson on the A-side of Victor 17037. (He is inimitable because of the blackface, naturally.)

This represents 609.37 GB of data, constituting 255 days, 15 hours, 29 minutes, and 4 seconds of playing time. Which leaves 78,705 items (meaning I’ve had a net loss of one track since last report) remaining unheard, totaling 491.44 GB of data lasting 223 days, 2 hours, 18 minutes, and 10 seconds.

Oddly enough, iTunes seems to be on a George Cohan kick, as the ninety-four thousand and first track is “The Yankee Doodle Boy” — you may know it as “(I’m a) Yankee Doodle Dandy” — from the Cohan musical Little Johnny Jones which opened in 1904. The particular cut I’m listening to is that sung by the tremendous pop star Billy Murray, on Victor 4229 (a single-sided disc). Not to worry, though; we won’t always be stuck in the hinterlands of century-old popular music. The next song is a 1987 number: “Misfit” by Curiosity Killed The Cat off of their #1 album (both on the UK charts and in the order of their album releases) Keep Your Distance. Perhaps that’s good advice, as I’m not sure we’ll be talking about Curiosity Killed The Cat as frequently as George M. Cohan in another half-century.

Ninety-Three Thousand

93,000th iTunes track (with all necessary caveats): “Soul Feeling, Pt. 2” by Eddie ‘G.’ Giles from the simply terrific Soul compilation Downtown Soulville! (Yet another title ending in an exclamation point… Hmm…)

This represents 598.67 GB of data, constituting 251 days, 8 hours, 29 minutes, and 49 seconds of playing time. Which leaves 79,706 items (give or take) remaining unheard, totaling 501.78 GB of data lasting 227 days, 6 hour, 9 minutes, and 10 seconds. Should be under a half-terabyte by the next update!

Ninety-One Thousand

Listened to my 91,000th iTunes track. Turned out to be John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers singing “Sitting In The Rain” from The Mono Singles Collection 1964-1968 — which is a great collection.

Doing a little math, I see that this song stands at the peak of a pile of 582.27 GB of data, representing 244 days, 19 hours, 37 minutes, and 45 seconds of playing time, if all the items listened to so far were laid end-to-end along the “t” axis. Which leaves 81,535 items (more or less; see last post) remaining unheard, totaling over 515 GB of data lasting more than 233 days. Like sand through the hourglass.

Milestone, Millstone

Well, I’ve now listened to my 90,000th song. In iTunes, at least. Who knows how many songs I’ve heard in my entire life? But one of the things which has always attracted me to the iTunes paradigm is the ability to not only have the inherent song information — who sang it? on what album? and when? — but also those extrinsic factors such as my own rating, when I got that song, and how many times — or if — I’ve ever listened to it. And armed with that … knowledge? information? distracting factoid? … we’ll go with information… armed with that information, I can say that I have listened to 90,000 individual songs (tracks? instances?) as of 5:30 PST on January 20, 2016. For those keeping score at home, the 90,000th track was a seventeen-and-a-half minute version of “Eight Miles High” by The Byrds, performed at a concert in the Curtis Hixon Hall in Tampa, Florida, on November 1, 1972. Actually, the track was over thirteen minutes of jamming by the band, followed by the familiar song. The bootleg itself is rather middling, as the vocals don’t come through all that well, but that makes an extended jam all the better in this case. The information from iTunes doesn’t stop at the song count (or “items” as iTunes calls them, which is not-just-technically more accurate); I also know — if such data constitutes ‘knowledge’ — that the songs I’ve listened to represent 574.44 GB of data on the hard drive where these songs are stored, and that the total time of these individual tracks (if laid end to end along a straight aural railway track through the temporal dimension) is equal to two hundred and forty-one days, nineteen hours, twenty-four minutes and sixteen seconds. The latter sounds like a lot of time, but is still less than two-thirds of a full year.

It’ll take the rest of that year and then some to finish all the songs I have, however, as I also know how much ‘music’ (I’ve often been told that much of what I listen to should not be considered as music, so consider the previous marks as warning quotes) I have not yet heard (though this shall change). Just after finishing the forty-odd-year-old version of “Eight Miles High”, I had 81,934 unheard ‘items’, comprising 516.41 GB of data, with a total listening time of two hundred and thirty-four days, nine hours, fifty-four minutes and a single second. Using the syntax favored by iTunes, the listened-to-unlistened time looks like this: 241:19:24:16 – 234:09:54:01

Does any of this matter? My reply, does anything? doesn’t really further the conversation of the ancients. I could point out the fuzziness inherent in the seemingly precise numbers proffered earlier — could note, for instance, that GB is one of those measures that has a very specific meaning, but which seems to change depending upon whether you’re looking at a Mac or PC, whether you’re buying or selling, and that factors of two are really most useful for looking for prime numbers. (Congratulations! by the way, to the GIMPS team, which just today announced a new Mersenne prime of ridiculous size. Keep adding to human knowledge, you crazy rascals you!) But the fuzziness is … deeper? fuzzier? more opaque? … than that. For example, the whole question about ‘songs’, ‘items’, ‘tracks’ alluded to above hides several other issues. To be sure, each of the enumerated ‘things’ are a single ‘item’ in my iTunes ‘Library’. These include music videos and podcasts in the present iteration of these ‘Smart Playlists’, but not movies or TV shows. A podcast of cartoons, however, is included in this accounting. History has been eliminated by the instantaneous algorithm, as well, as any ‘tracks’ which were listened to buy since deleted from my collection do not — of course — appear in the rendered accounting. Nor are duplicates removed from that list; though I do try to prune those for the most part, if a song appears on a Beatles album and then a 60s pop collection, it counts as two songs. Contrariwise, each song is counted only once, though many songs have been listened to multiple times.

Even here, however, more data is available to us. Of the 90,000 listened to ‘items’, 73,758 have only been listened to once. (One of these singletons is “Take On Me” by a-ha — though another instance has been listened to multiple times, so it’s a wash…) These represent over 200 days of time, and 484.55 GB of data. What does it all mean? Well, nothing, of course. Enumeration is a sin against creation, if enumeration is the only point. Why play the High Fidelity game at all, and decree that “Red House” by Jimi Hendrix is better than “Dies Irae” by Mozart, when each is a fiery brand held up against the darkness which surrounds us all? Each flame of human creation — but which version, which recording, and can recording recreate the flood of emotion sweeping us up and then down as the raging river of sound sends us through the tunnel of being into… what? Another mixed metaphor? Or a flaming flood of meaningless travail?

I have reported, or noted, or whatever this is, iTunes passages before. When I reached the halfway point — in ‘items’, in time, in data. And I very much doubt that I will not do so again. But I have no illusion that such ‘events’ are any more meaningful than an achievement unlocked in a mobile game which will be unsupported a mere three years from now, after who knows how many upgrades to OS or versions. And yet, I record here this numeric milestone, as a scratched tally against the darkness, although these bits and bytes themselves will fail, carved into a ‘cloud’ like a final confession in Word 3.x on a dusty floppy disk lost behind a workbay partition. Excelsior.

Sonnet

Though disbelieving visions, Newton sleeps
And dreams dark matter does his stars coerce.
Too unequivocal is reason’s curse,
When stars no spirit stir within the deeps.
Thus missing mass into Omega creeps,
While Ptolemaic epicycles nurse
A woe-torn hopelorn empty universe,
And God within his mausoleum weeps.
Unworthy empty space must meaning be?
Perhaps unveiled attraction modified
May comprehend the song the plenum sings.
But I, bereft of truth and good, can’t see
How beauty permeates creation’s bride,
Nor fit words find for handling holy things.

A Sonnet Called Sonnet

I tried to write a sonnet answering thee,
And yet no matter how the lines were set,
The verse turned turgid and Italianate,
Beneath my black-thumb hammer poetry.
A disquisition on astronomy
And souls paid four-sevenths of the debt
But my rhymes could only counterfeit
Bereft, betrayed, extinct sincerity.
Neither would my volta vault, nor words
Exceed themselves; the whole would not gel.
Revulsed and weary of excreted words,
Unshriven, I consigned them all to hell.
And so I’m left without a poem for you
And cannot say the truths I know are true.

Medication Guide

PDF copy of this document for your records
 

MEDICATION GUIDE
HOPE [hohp]
(sperolatior)

Read this Medication Guide before you start taking HOPE and each time you get a refill. There may be new information. Could be. This information does not take the place of talking to your physician about your condition or your treatment.

What is the most important information I should know about HOPE?
HOPE and other anticipatory physic may cause serious side effects.

  • Anticipatory physic may increase aspirational thoughts in some children, teenagers, young adults, or seniors within the first few moments of treatment.
  • Nihilism or other serious conditions of futility may occur if prescribed hope is unfulfilled.
  • Serious mental health problems
    • psychosis (seeing or hearing things that are not real, such as Balanced Budget Amendments or Equal Pay)
    • mania (feelings of euphoria or excitement)
    • binge watching CSI: Miami

Call your provider right away if you have any of the following symptoms:

  • swollen toes, ankles, feet, or other footal swelling
  • too much or too little sleep
  • changes in mood, appetite, weight, equilibrium, or hair color
  • feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • new or worse anxiety
  • new or worse feelings
  • other unusual changes in behavior, such as not being able to finish old levels of Candy Crush

What is HOPE?

  • HOPE is a physic used to treat certain motivational disorders, such as futility, nihilism, depression, joblessness, disempowerment, and mange.
  • HOPE can hurt the tube that connects your mouth to your stomach (esophagus) if it is not swallowed whole.
  • Your physician, barber, or leech has determined that the benefits of taking HOPE are greater than the risks of side effects.
  • In clinical studies, the beneficial effects of HOPE (sperolatior) were determined to be greater than those of a placebo (p < 0.05).

Who should not take HOPE?
Do not take HOPE if you:

  • are allergic to optimism or any of the ingredients in HOPE (sperolatior).
  • have exhausted all of your appeals.
  • are entering Hell, or an internship at an investment banking firm in New York.

What should I tell my provider before taking HOPE?
Tell your provider if you:

  • have liver problems
  • have had seizures or convulsions
  • have migraines, frequent headaches, or periodic visions of saints or devils
  • have cable, Netflix, HULU, or Amazon Prime
  • don’t give a rat’s ass
  • drink alcohol
  • inject alcohol
  • snort alcohol
  • came up with a new way to ingest alcohol (see clysters, below)
  • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant or are breastfeeding or plan to become breastfeeding
  • are lactose, gluten, or liberal intolerant
  • have some other problem we haven’t thought of but which we can’t be blamed for not mentioning since we have this catch-all phrase here, right here

Tell your physician about all the physic you are currently taking, including prescription medicaments, under-the-counter medicines, vitamins, herbs, and alchemical preparations. HOPE may interact with some medicines, may not work as well, or may cause serious side effects such as twerking.
Especially tell your provider is you take:

  • leeches
  • clysters, colonics, or other purgatives
  • flakka
  • your time
  • St. John’s Wort or tryptophan
  • MAOIs
  • nicotine injectables
  • flan, marzipan, or wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am
  • heed
  • a stand, a powder, the rap, a crack
  • charge, cover, heart, exception, off, place, pains, notice, liberties, turns
  • Did we mention MAOIs? Oh, yeah, I guess we did
  • breaks
  • quinine or water or coffee or tea
  • other medications, such as
    • Courage (animopacis)
    • Faith (fidesubcubitus)
    • Vaxidrin (or other products of the Prescott Pharmaceuticals)

Ask your physician if you are not sure if you are taking any of the above, or if you just want to know where you stand.

How should I take HOPE?

  • Take HOPE exactly as directed, unless you are directed not to.
  • Take HOPE at about the same time each day.
  • Take HOPE with thimbles, care, and forks.
  • Do not start or stop taking HOPE without consulting your physician, lawyer, or Twitter.
  • HOPE may be taken with or without food, grains of salt, railway shares, or soap.
  • If you miss a dose of HOPE, and it has been less than 12 hours since your regular dose, take it as soon as you remember. Do not take two doses at the same time.
  • If you take too much HOPE or overdose, call your provider, poison control center, or local apothecary right away.
  • If you get HOPE in your eyes, rinse well with water or tears of the homeless, and call your provider right away. Be sure to wash any clothing exposed to HOPE, using cold water and no fabric softener.
  • Do not stop taking HOPE suddenly, as this can lead to a sudden loss of cabin pressure, in which case you should put your own oxygen mask before helping others. Oxygen is flowing even if the bag does not inflate.

What should I avoid while taking HOPE?

  • Do not drive, operate heavy machinery, attempt dangerous activities, play Scrabble®, or accept missions impossible until you know how HOPE affects you.
  • Avoid drinking to excess, illegal drugs or downloads, whoring around, or general grab-ass while taking HOPE.

What are the possible side effects of HOPE?
HOPE may cause serious side effects, including:

  • See “What is the most important information I should know about HOPE?”
  • aspirational syndrome (also known as “American Idol syndrome”). A potentially life-threatening condition can occur when taking HOPE and other physic. Symptoms include:
    • agitation, hallucinations, delusions, coma, death, or other changes in mental status
    • “believing in yourself” in the face of overwhelming contrary evidence
    • problems controlling your movements or muscle twitching, as evidenced by singing songs by Adele or Stevie Wonder
    • fast heartbeat
    • sweating
    • buying rounds of drinks for strangers
    • karaoke
  • hypomania (manic episodes). Symptoms of manic episodes include:
    • greatly increased energy or excessive happiness (whatever that means)
    • arguing with Bill O’Reilly
    • being chosen to save France from English invaders
    • claiming friendship with aliens, rock stars, senators, or any Kardashian (even Rob)
  • hearing problems. Symptoms may include hearing “Yes” when told quite clearly “No”.
  • death. Symptoms of death include:
    • shortness or lack of breath
    • absence of heartbeat and/or pulse
    • lack of response to Facebook posts
    • inability to get out of bed

These are not all the possible side effects of HOPE (sperolatior). Please notify your pharmacist if you discover a new side effect, as he may be eligible for fabulous prizes, or call the Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222 for your own chance to play side effect roulette. Call your doctor if you have further concerns, though it isn’t as if he’s already quite busy, with real problems.

How should I store HOPE?
Store HOPE at room temperature, between 59ºF to 86ºF (15ºC to 30ºC), unless your room is colder or hotter.
Store HOPE in a secure place, so that you do not lose HOPE.
Keep HOPE out of reach of children.

General information about HOPE.
Hope is part of a complete treatment plan which includes a carefully balanced breakfast and plenty of liquids. For best results view through rose-colored glasses. Medicines or other physic are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Medication Guide. Do not take HOPE for a condition for which it is not prescribed. Do not give HOPE to other people, even if they have the same condition or symptoms that you have. If you would like more information, you just can’t be satisfied, can you? You may ask your provider or pharmacist for information about HOPE, as if that’s going to do you any good.

What are the ingredients in HOPE?
Active ingredient: sperolatior hydrochloride
Inactive ingredients: optimism, sunshine, trust, expectation, confidence, promise, reassurance, cheer, reliance, mannitol, polyethylene glycol 400, and iron oxide red